The Pentera Blog
Are Your Donor Stories Boring Your Readers to Death?
Storytelling is all the rage in planned giving now, and that has resulted in a proliferation of donor stories that are … sometimes ineffective and even downright boring. They start at the beginning of the donor's life, describe education, career, family, hobbies, and on and on, taking hundreds of words to get to the point: Why the donor decided to make the planned gift! Sometimes, surprisingly, the gift is never mentioned at all.
Donor stories are NOT biographies
The description above is not donor story writing but rather donor biography writing, which isn't as effective as planned giving marketing materials. A longer article with lots of biographical information could go on your planned giving Web site or as an article (but not as an ad because it would be too long) in an alumni magazine or other similar publication. But for a short marketing piece with limited space, you have just a few seconds to grab the reader's attention and create relevance.
Here's another way of looking at it: Let's say you are visiting with a donor who asks if you have had other donors make this type of gift. How would you respond? Would you offer a biography: "Oh yes, I was just working with a donor last month who grew up in Kansas, born to parents of modest means, and loved to swim with his brother on their family farm. … " Or would you say, "Oh yes, I was just working with a donor last month who like you was deciding between a CRT and a CGA. She's 78, widowed, on a fixed income, and worried about not having enough retirement income … She also loves our organization and like you wants to help our cause because it's dear to her heart. ..." You would most likely describe the latter because it's much more relevant to the prospective donor you are visiting with.
The main purpose of a donor story
The main purpose of a donor story is to present a role model who inspires others to consider a gift. The focus needs to be on the gift made and why the donor chose to make the gift—both the emotional reason, perhaps to give back in gratitude, and the financial reasons why the donor chose this particular method of giving.
Pentera's story writing service
Pentera offers a free donor story writing service, providing a questionnaire that the donor completes and from which we write an effective story. For donors who would prefer talking with someone rather than filling out a questionnaire, we can have one of our professional writers conduct a telephone interview with the donor and write the story (for a fee).
"The donor stories are wonderful," says one Pentera client. "Something that would take me or someone else here weeks to do is quick, accurate, and beautifully written."
Examples of effective openings
Here's an example of a good donor story opening, written by Pentera:
"Sara M has a simple answer when asked why she decided to add a gift in her will to XYZ Hospital: 'It makes me proud to have the ability to support the hospital and the people who saved my life.'"
Do you want to keep reading? Of course you do. Might that opening sentence inspire other prospective donors to give? Of course it might. Two major goals accomplished.
Here's another effective opening:
"Marge L wasn't so sure about moving to XYZ Retirement Community when she and her late husband made the decision 19 years ago. But now she is so sure she made the right decision that she has funded a charitable gift annuity that provides her with income now—with the remainder going to the XYZ Foundation."
Note that both of these openings do include information about the donor, but the focus is on the gift and the decision-making process. Forget boring donor biographies and instead focus on relevant information that will motivate your donors, or contact Pentera today about how we can help you market your planned giving program with inspiring donor stories.
